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Jump
Three days out of the last seven, my boy has done something almost incomprehensibly brave. The only way I can explain it is through an analogy. Imagine being terrified of heights. Your fear is...
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One week
It has been the most incredible week of our lives. On Monday, the phone rang at midday. It was a nurse from Ollie's unit: he was literally bouncing off the walls. The nursing staff were at a loss and...
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Revelations
Ollie has continued to make excellent progress. He has eaten every single one of his meals, he has attended school and all the many groups, and endured many therapy sessions. Ollie has been able to...
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Hunger
My brain is struggling. My own self has upped and gone. I should be happy; Ollie's making outstanding progress in his recovery. I feel worse with each day that he feels better. Ollie is telling us more...
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Scrutiny
Everything we've done over the past six months has been examined, discussed, commented upon. We have had several gruelling assessments that have delved into my mental health history as much as Ollie's....
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Nearly
We are nearly there. Ollie is nearly ready to be discharged. Life is nearly normal. Nearly, but not quite. During the last month, Ollie has spent more time at home than in hospital. While he...
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First day
When anorexia swallowed up our son, we were bracing ourselves for a very long hospital stay. He was admitted to the specialist unit on April 24th, and we mentally wrote off the rest of the year. The...
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Birthday
12 years ago today, Ollie was born. The pregnancy had been stressful, with lots of scares and scans along the way. Ollie was breech so the decision had been made to plan a C-section to keep us both...
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Monster
Our son has a monster. It lives in his head. Sometimes the monster sleeps quietly and we forget that he's there. At other times, the monster whispers to our boy, creeping into his brain on tiptoe....
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Mechanism
We've had a tough week. Ollie has missed a couple of days of school due to exhaustion and the biggest, most violent flashback yet. He's fragile: the tiniest thing sends his anxiety into the red. We've...
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Silence
I never really understood how powerful silence could be until this week. Our days have been punctuated by Ollie's extreme moods. Flashbacks, outbursts of anger, depression. Then last week, he fell...
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Weight chart
It’s Tuesday, and we are at Great Ormond Street Hospital. We come here every week, and Ollie has individual therapy for his anorexia and PTSD, and we attend family therapy as well as parents’ and...
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Holiday
We have just returned from a week away in the Scottish Highlands. There were six of us, wedged into the car: two adults, two children, one dog, and anorexia. I have come to think of anorexia as a...
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DLA
Today the letter arrived: we have been awarded the middle rate of Disability Living Allowance due to Ollie’s illness. It’s not a large sum, but it’ll cover the weekly hospital trips, with a little left...
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OK, just about
It’s occurred to me that I only write about the challenges and the triumphs, but I don’t talk about the mundane. It’s a bit like the reviews on Amazon; people are generally only bothered to write if...
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Anorexiaversary? Or Christmas?
It’s beginning to look a lot like Anorexiaversary. While most families are starting to get excited about Christmas, we’re bracing for impact. This time last year, Ollie was unhappy, but we had no idea...
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Article 8
This time, I’m just posting literal snapshots. Things that have become the new normal for us. I’m hoping that each picture gives just a little insight into our lives.My bedside table reading pile We...
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Article 7
Sometimes it feels like we’re living in a game of snakes and ladders. The smallest things can have us all hurtling downwards, feeling like anorexia is pulling us back towards the darkness. Yet...
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Food
Food is everywhere. It’s central to everything: crucial to our very existence, the cornerstone of our social interactions, the way we show love, the way we celebrate. The consequences are everywhere...
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This year has been one of huge contrasts. We’ve had sun, and snow; progress, and backlash. We’ve gotten through all of the days, good and bad, and all the while the Earth has been turning, bringing...
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